me All scientists are hipsters, that's why they wear glasses.

husband No.

me "I stopped working on electromagnetic induction. It was too current."

husband No.

me "I used to have a passion for oceanography but I got sick of talking about the mainstream."

husband No!

me "Of course I'm not a mathematician. Calculus-based models of the universe are SO derivative."

husband ...

me "I'm an expert on geothermal vents--"

husband Oh my God.

me "--They're probably too deep for you."